You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
