Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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