Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
