My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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