If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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