woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
