In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
this is an emotional support booty call
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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