the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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