So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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