i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
