I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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