if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
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