I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
