Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
