just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize