here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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