Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
