Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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