and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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