We're facebook friends in real life
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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