so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize