nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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