my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
