4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
