If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
