He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
