My room smells like vodka and shame
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
