I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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