she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize