Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
