just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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