We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
