you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
