no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
