his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
