We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
