I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
