I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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