I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize