I need help removing her.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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