Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
