I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
