'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
