we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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