yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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