With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
