If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
