fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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