party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
