I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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