Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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