thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
