what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
