Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
