cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
