I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
