Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
