you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Pooping to opera.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
