Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
