Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
