Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
