just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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