the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize