i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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