we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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