absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
