How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
