my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize