Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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