Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
