Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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