Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
