What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
