I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
