Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
