Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
where are my eyebrows?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
