I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
