i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
