The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
