I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
